Sangre

Program Note

Sangre is a musical investigation into my bicultural identity. My mom is from Mazatlán, Mexico, and my dad is from Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin. As a kid, to me, this was a boring fact. It’s just my mom and dad, big deal. However, I didn’t yet realize how confusing this was for other people, especially my classmates. I found once I told my classmates my heritage, a flicker of skepticism appeared in their eyes, and they focused their gaze on my white skin. I could always tell. As I grew up, the skepticism remained. When they asked, “Where’s your family from?” I told them I could almost feel the next question, “Are you sure?” 

Some didn’t believe me, and it bothered me. I wanted to shout at them and admonish them. Why would I lie? My heritage was and still is something I’m very proud of. As I grew up, I realized that other bicultural individuals share the same story. We don’t fit easily into categories and don’t conform well to generally accepted ideas of race and ethnicity, but we’re here. 

Writing Sangre was a challenge and also a relief. It’s my way of saying, “Yes, we are here, and we are who we are”. Some of that frustration and anger I wanted to represent in the music. Harmonies from different modes collide with each other, being forced to resemble some sort of progression to a cadence. But I also wanted to embody a collaborative relationship of modes that are distinctly unrelated. One resolution may be the suspension to resolve in the next phase. At other times, modes are singular and free from each other with no interaction. 

To me, this harmonic ambiguity mimics the complexity of my identity. Am I Mexican, Mexican-American, or something else entirely?